Why can't I stop eating?

I love food. No. I don't love food. I'm addicted to food. There's a difference. Everyone says they love food. But for me, it's not the same. Food has literally taken over my life. I'm always awaiting my next meal because I'm always hungry. If I'm being honest with myself, I've gotten into some bad habits during college. It's not just an occasional indulgence. It's multiple indulgences during the day. I've never been skinny. Even when I was young I was always pudgy-looking. But now at the age of 21, it's not okay. I'd be lying if I said I was happy because the truth is, I'm not. I would love to know what it's like to walk into any store and not worry about if they will have your size. I would like to know what it's like to not get winded walking to class every day or dreading the smallest uphill climb. While I've had no serious health issues so far, I feel that I've been lucky. As my body keeps tilting up on the weight scale, I know how dangerous it can be for my health and how much damage I've already done. I signed up for Weight Watchers and already I've cheated multiple times. So how do you lose weight when you struggle with every part of weight loss? When you can't seem to eat healthy or stop eating too much, and don't ever feel like exercising? I don't know how to do it. I need that motivation that I can't find. Or the motivation is there one day and gone the next. I don't want to be a size 0. I just want to be healthy but for me, healthy means losing about 90 pounds. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm fat and that's okay but I'm unhealthy and that's not okay. No more excuses. I will fail and fail again but I will never stop trying to do this.